


Oh Dear

by Icka M Chif (mischif)



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Alien Technology, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Centaurs, Crack, Gen, Healing, M/M, Major Character Injury, No Healing Cock, Pooka Jack Frost, Púca | Pooka, Transformation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-08 11:54:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5496131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mischif/pseuds/Icka%20M%20Chif
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Easy there there, lad.” Bunny’s voice was gentle, almost tender, as Jack’s blue eyes flickered between the faces above him, confusion evident on his face. “You’ve had a bit of a shock, let’s just take this nice and easy, yeah?”</p><p> <i>Deer-Taur!Jack. Warnings for Temporary Dismemberment, Fluff, Crack, and Dad Jokes.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Yes!” North gave a jubilant cry as he looked on in wonder as for the first time in over a decade, Jack Frost opened his eyes. 

Next to him, Sandy and Toothiana gave their own hip wiggling dances of excitement. Bunny, the one who had worked the hardest for this, was the only one of the Guardians not to join in the celebration. 

“Easy there there, lad.” Bunny’s voice was gentle, almost tender, as Jack’s blue eyes flickered between the faces above him, confusion evident on his face. “You’ve had a bit of a shock, let’s just take this nice and easy, yeah?”

Jack took a deep breath and nodded, the dark rich dirt of the Warren crumbling away from his face. “What’s going on?” 

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Toothiana asked, fluttering over him. 

“I…” Jack closed his eyes and shook his head, more earth falling away from his face. He twitched a shoulder, a pale white arm rising from the dirt, the material of the blue hoodie having rotted away under the soil. Jack ran a hand down his face, not noticing the missing garment. 

“Pitch.” Jack said slowly. “We were fighting Pitch. We’d turned the tables and….” He gave them a blank look of confusion. 

“We won.” North rumbled softly. Sort of.

They’d defeated Pitch’s army of Nightmares, sending Pitch tumbling to the ground, when the Boogeyman had disappeared into the shadows of a fleet of school buses. The four of them, minus Sandy, had cast their eyes around, looking for Pitch….

Who had risen out of the shadows behind Jack with his scythe held high. Bunny had yelled a warning, throwing his boomerang, which struck the scythe, but not enough to stop the downwards swing of the heavy blade. 

The blade which had been grabbed by a beam of golden sand, hauling Pitch up into the sky and away. 

But not before it had sliced through Jack’s staff, and halfway through Jack Frost himself. 

Sandy had defeated Pitch on his own, Bunny and North doing their best to keep Jack’s insides on the inside as Tooth kept the kids from seeing. They’d used a portal to get Jack to the Workshop’s infirmary, the Yeti descending in a feverish bustle to save the young sprite that had saved them. 

It took hours before they’d exhausted everything they could do, both physically and magically, but there was too much to mend with a cut that bisected Jack at the waist. It was beyond their skill. Even on the remotest chance that they managed to save Jack’s life, there was no way to save his legs, and the eldest of the healers advised them to make their goodbyes.

A Pyrrhic victory, if it could even be called a victory, to have defeated Pitch at the cost of Jack Frost’s life. 

Which was when Bunny had stirred to action, demanding they bring Jack to the Warren, _hurry_ , before opening a tunnel and disappearing down it. Having nothing else to lose, they had done so, only to find Bunny digging a Jack-length hole in the earth at the base of a glowing alien looking plant. 

Bunny had picked up Jack, carefully lowering him to dirt, and adding his broken staff, one half on either side of his head, before shoveling the dirt on top of him. Toothiana had protested, and North had to hold her back, as she cried and wailed at Bunny for burying Jack alive. 

Except that Bunny hadn’t, he left Jack’s face uncovered, then pressed his hands to the soil, chanting in a language than North had never heard, couldn’t place as being from the planet. The alien looking plant had shuddered and shivered, thin glowing tendrils reaching for Jack, twisting in and around the loose soil covering him, until it seemed like he was cocooned by them, their glow peaking through the earth. 

It was how Pooka healed the extremely injured, Bunny explained, his hands and feet stained dark brown from the dirt. Either Jack would eventually wake up, healed. 

Or he wouldn’t wake up at all, and this would be his final resting place.

Either way, he was in the earth. And the only thing they could do was wait. 

The first year had been an anxious one, the other three Guardians constantly checking with Bunny if there was any change. Each time, Bunny’s face would fall, and tell them no.

The second and third years, they tried to ask less. By the fifth, they didn’t bring it up at all, other than a silent query when they gathered, that Bunny would silently acknowledge with a shake of his head. 

Nearly 15 years had passed since then, and they still checked, hoping for a miracle. And then Bunny had contacted North that the cocoon was receding, and that Jack’s breathing had changed, that he was waking up. 

And now here they were, Bunny pushing dirt off of the winter sprite, as Jack worked his other arm free of the dirt, looked at them all as if surprised to see them. 

“Let us just say it has been while since we have seen each other last.” North rumbled. “And it is very good to see you.”

“Good to see you too.” Jack smiled, holding his hands up. “Mind giving me a hand up?” He asked cheerfully. 

“Certainly.” North agreed, clasping one of Jack’s hands. Sandy took the other. 

“ _Carefully_.” Bunny snapped, looking like he’d rip their arms off if they hurt Jack’s. “This was Pooka magic, I’ve never used it on a human before, we don’t know if there’s any side effects.”

“Well, as long as I’m alive and not dead, I’ll take them.” Jack quipped. 

“You were a bit closer than ya realise.” Bunny grumbled, shifting in his spot by Jack’s head. The well worn spot, just right for someone Pooka-sized to sit and watch over Jack. North smiled to himself. The big softie. 

“On three!” North proclaimed. “One! Two! Three!” He and Sandy pulled, hauling Jack upright. It was harder than he anticipated, chunks of earth coming up around Jack’s head, great big roots ripping free of the dirt. 

They paused, Jack shaking his head from side to side, as Tooth let out a soft gasp from next to North. 

“It… Kind of looks like the crook of your staff.” She informed Jack, pointing to the crest on the top of her head. “Coming from your hair.” 

Two, to be precise. Almost like antlers.

“I’ve got to see this.” Jack said firmly, as Bunny made a pained sort of noise. “Help me up.” 

North and Sandy looked at each other, then shrugged and tightened their grip on Jack’s hands before hauling him up again. 

Jack groaned, the earth rippling away from him as one leg broke free, and then the other, sharp cloven hooves scrambling for purchase on the soft soil. 

And then the third and fourth leg as well, attached to a body that was very similar to North’s own reindeer, from the waist down.

Jack gave himself a shake all over, soil falling away to reveal white skin and fur, before twisting around to look at his suddenly much more extended body.

“He’s half Pooka.” Toothiana squeaked, and then covered her mouth with her hands. 

“The bottom half at least.” Jack quipped, flashing them an amused grin, his new tail flicking in muted laughter. 

North glanced at Bunny, the demand to know if Bunny had done this on purpose on his lips, but to fall away at the almost horrified way Bunny stared at Jack. If Bunny’s fur could lose colour, he would have been pale in shock. 

Not on purpose then. 

Jack didn’t seem to notice or mind, staring enraptured at his feet as he tested picking up each one of his centaur like legs and setting them down again, as eager as a young fawn to test his new limbs. 

North settled back down, stroking his beard thoughtfully and said the only thing he could think of. “Oh… Deer.” 

He winced as Toothiana turned and punched him in the arm. 

… He **might** have deserved that. 

-fin-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *writes 8,500 words of fic for Jack Frost day today, only to realise it’s not going to be done in time because Bunny’s a nutter.*  
> *Opens new doc*  
> “North, Talk to me, Santa Baby.” 
> 
> -I've had this mental image in mind since '[Draw a Centaur Day](http://centaurcentral.tumblr.com/post/81896337264)' back in April, and it finally came together as a short fic.  
> Went with an Elk because horse didn't feel quite right. But given the approximate locale of Burgess, that leaves White-Tailed Deer and Elk as being native, and White-Tail felt too tiny. Elk are also better when it comes to dealing with snow.  
> 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So people had questions and what ifs and stuff, and we'd kinda already worked that all out in my head, so it was easier just to write out another chapter-?  
> Possibly one more chapter on this AU then we're out of images, but in the meantime....

* * *

**Six Months Later....**

"North! North!" Jack came sliding to a halt in the doorway of his private work room, skinny limbs flailing. "I figured out how to change my legs all the way!" Jack crowed triumphantly. 

" _Da_ , very good Jack." North grinned, casually dropping an arm over Bunny's eyes before the Pooka could turn to look. "But maybe you should think about getting pants on, yes?"

Jack glanced down and made a high undignified squeaking sound as he pulled his blue hoodie as far down over his dangling _human_ genitals as he could. 

"Or maybe a kilt." North continued as Bunny made a honking sound, twitching in North's grasp. "Less likely to tear if you change back unexpectedly. Go talk to Phil, he fix you up." 

"Good idea. Thanks, North!" Jack yelped, and ran back off in the other direction. 

North waited until the sound of Jack's bare feet faded away before releasing Bunny. It was almost odd to see him with bare feet instead of hooves after these past several months of Jack living with him. 

Bunny let out a sigh, slumping forward until his head hit the wood of North's table. "That kid is gonna be the death of me." He groaned. 

"Is very smart learner." North chuckled to himself, proud of Jack's accomplishments. Jack had taken to the shapeshifting element of being half Pooka like a bird to the air, figuring out how to turn his four elk legs into two after only a couple months of waking up with them. 

Most likely because flying was a bit of an issue with four legs. Jack resembled nothing more than a dizzying snowflake, his limbs flailed out in every which way as he spun through the air without his staff to to act as a rudder. 

It was much easier for Jack to be carried through the air with only two legs, and to leap from tree top to tree top without the extra mass, even if he did look like a satyr from the Greek Pantheon. 

North himself still couldn't get over the fact that Jack was alive, and healthy. Pooka hybrid or not, it didn’t matter as long as Jack was happy. 

Bunny however, was a different story. To say he'd been a bit of a wreck had been an understatement. 

It had taken North literally sitting on Bunny to get the story out. He'd expected it to have to do with not being the last and only Pooka anymore, even if Jack was still half-human. 

Instead, he'd gotten stories of the Golden Age, about the Nightmare King transforming people against their will, turning them into Shades and Shadows. 

The fact that Bunny had changed someone's _species_ without their consent, making him no better than the Boogieman had torn at him. That he had that capability at all was a scary thing, and talked about destroying his technology, even if it meant that if something happened, they wouldn't be able to save anyone else's life with it. 

North had thus far talked him out of it, but it'd been a close call. 

Add to it that Bunny's hormones were going crazy _because there was another Pooka_ , one that was fertile, their Bunny was having a hard time making peace with himself. 

Which is why Bunny had taken North aside and requested that Jack live with him at the Pole, something that North had been very happy to do. He had not been able to save Jack, but he could certainly house him. 

Which was not a hardship at all, Jack was a delight to have live with him, bringing new life and energy with him. It brought a bounce back to North's step, and an extra twinkle to his eye, the knowledge that every day brought something new, and usually unexpected. 

Footsteps pounded back in their direction. "Think he's been expecting it." Jack said, a wide grin on his face as he reappeared, now wearing a brown pleated kilt that swished around his knees. "Phil gave me something called a 'utility kilt'. It's got snaps so I don't flash people when I fly!" 

"Phil is very good with anticipating what will be needed." North smiled, stroking his beard. "Is why he is in charge of Yeti." 

Jack laughed, casually draping himself over Bunny, and rubbing his forehead against the top of Bunny's. "Heya, Bun-Bun." Jack said, sounding pleased to see the other Pooka. 

"Heya yourself, Jackie." Bunny smiled, but North noticed that he made no move to return the hug. "How ya going?"

From their talks, Jack had none of the lingering fears and concerns that Bunny did. He might have died, again, but hadn't. He'd helped defeat the Boogeyman and got people who saw him, and wanted to talk and interact with him out of it. 

And the ability to change shape below the waist, which some days Jack was occasionally more ambivalent about than others. 

However, Jack was very uncertain about taking the Guardian's Oath, something that North and the other Guardians were not pressing him on. Having someone who was not tied to the children's belief had come in useful. 

And none of the other Guardians wanted to let Pitch anywhere near Jack, something that was sure to happen if he took the Oath. 

"Pretty good. Gonna work on figuring out how to retract the horns next." Jack said, stroking Bunny's ears with a gentle touch. Bunny shivered, but didn't make any gestures of protest, so North just watched with a sense of amusement. "If not, I'll just have to get used to being horny." Jack mused, sounding pleased with himself.

Despite whatever reservations Bunny might have about being around Jack, Jack had none at all. While he'd been healing in the earth, he could still hear a little, and his memories of the time had been filled of Bunny talking about this and that, snippets of random things. 

It was good memories for Jack, knowing that someone was there for him, that someone cared. 

North had tried explaining that to Bunny, that and that Bunny had spent a LOT of time flirting with Jack before the battle with Pitch, but the Pooka was being stubborn. 

-Eventually they would get through his stubborn bone sometimes called a skull. 

“That’d be a good surprise for Jamie.” Bunny agreed, not so subtly turning the conversation away. 

Jack chuckled, pressing his face against Bunny’s fur, and taking a deep breath, looking utterly content. Jack had a tendency to lean against people and snuggle whenever he had a chance, but he kicked it up a notch around Bunny. “Yup.” He agreed. “Although he’s working the deer part into my mythology already.”

“Jamie has been especially good.” North smiled, stroking his beard. “Will give him extra special present this year.” 

‘Especially good’ did not even begin to cover Jack’s first believer. Not only had Jamie remembered Jack and the rest of the Guardians, but he had spread the believe about Jack Frost via stories and art on the Internet. 

When Jack had found out that Jamie still believed in them, he’d staged an escape from the Pole, going to to meeting with him. By the time North had arrived, Jamie had been riding astride Jack’s back, the two of them talking and laughing as Jack pranced through the snow. 

It was a memory that brought a smile to North's heart. 

“He deserves it.” Jack said, sounding almost sleepy as nuzzled Bunny. North raised an eyebrow. 

“Jack?” He inquired. “Do you need to sleep and replenish energy reserves?” 

“I’m good.” Jack waved it off. Shapeshifting may have been ‘natural’ to him now, but that didn’t mean it was effortless. Changing and maintaining his shape took a lot of energy, effort, and concentration. 

There was a loud snapping sound, and then Jack was suddenly leaning _over_ Bunny instead of on, Jack’s four legs making a reappearance. 

“‘Good’, eh?” North drawled, not even bothering to contain his amusement. 

Jack made an annoyed grumble, glancing back at his tail as if his limbs were a separate entity that had done something naughty. North chuckled to himself. “Come, Jack. You may not sleep on Bunny.” He waved his wayward charge out of his office. 

He pretended not to hear Jack’s muttered comment that involved sleeping arrangement with Bunny and possible activities involved as he gave Bunny one last forehead rub. Bunny’s ears turned an interesting shade of dark pink as the Guardian of Hope gripped the edge of the table tightly enough North wondered if there would be holes gouged it the wood.

“On the bright side, kilt worked, yes?” North said cheerfully as Jack reluctantly released Bunny. 

“True.” Jack agreed, and then muffled a yawn. He gave North a tilted bob of the head in farewell, then turned and walked out, hooves lightly clicking on the floor. Jack paused in the hallway, one hand the door, turning back to give them a wink. “And the best part is that it’s easy removal.” 

Bunny choked. 

North rubbed his forehead, feeling a headache coming on. “Oh, dear.” 

-fin-


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

The sound of a kerfuffle drew North to the Great Room of the Workshop, wondering what was going on. The Elves and the Yeti usually steered clear of it, as it was for relaxing and guests, neither of which he was currently expecting, given the chaotic state of the Workshop. 

The howl of an outraged Bunny answered part of question, and North shook his head with a gusty sigh, briefly wondering if Jack was currently at the Workshop, or if he was out. North was growing weary of playing intermediary for the two, something he firmly rest at the Guardian of Hope’s oversized furry feet. 

It was starting to get to the point where he was wondering if it would be possible for him to lock the two in a room to get Bunny to talk. Although the whole ‘opening escape tunnels with his feet’ would make that somewhat tricky. 

Perhaps some sort of bubble in the air? That would solve the rabbit hole problem. Although if Bunny got airsick and lost his carrots…

Well, that was something he would not wish on Jack. For one thing, the boy could become very _creative_ when it came to retribution. 

The sharp crack of Jack’s voice made North hasten his footsteps, and he found himself stopping dead in his tracks as he discovered that perhaps a room wouldn’t be necessary after all. Jack had taken matters into his own hands. 

Or hooves, as the case might have been. 

Because Jack spent most of his time with two legs, hooved or human, it was easy to forget that Jack’s half-Pooka self was an Elk, and Elk were not tiny creatures. He may not have had the same mass as North’s Reindeer, but Jack was still quite large with all four legs out. 

Large enough to plop down on top of Bunny and pin him to the floor. 

… Carefully, North noticed. Most of the weight of Jack’s body was on his folded legs, but there was certainly enough pressure to keep Bunny from wiggling free. And wiggle free, Bunny was certainly attempting to do, claws scrabbling on the wood floor and leaving gouge marks. 

“We _really_ need to talk about this whole guilt complex thing you’ve got going on.” Jack was leaning over Bunny, the boy’s head nearly upside down as he attempted to look Bunny in the face. 

“Dunno wotcher talking about.” Bunny snarled, the whites of his eyes flashing in alarm. He got some traction on his feet, hindquarters frantically working to push Jack off of him-

And then suddenly Bunny froze, an expression of surprise stuck on his face.

“Yeah... We need to talk about that too.” Jack said matter of factly. “Cause you smell like you’re interested and act like you’re scared, and I’d _kinda_ like to know where I stand as far as getting laid.” 

North choked on air, and then flailed, attempting not to swallow his tongue. What was Jack talking about? Jack was boy! Jack was child! Jack was not… 

Jack was…

Phil walked by and grunted at Jack, getting his attention. Phil threw him a plastic squeeze bottle of something, and a strip of what appeared to be condoms, then with a stiff warning to wrap it up, wandered off. 

“Thanks, Phil!” Jack shouted after, with a broad unabashed grin on his face. 

North took another look at Jack and realised with a sinking heart that he was not looking at a child. Jack appeared young, yes, but there was a firmness in jaw, a maturity in his eyes that North had overlooked, not wanting to admit it to himself. 

He had wanted to think of Jack as a child, one that he could protect, as they had failed to do earlier. To make up for those centuries when they should have been there and had not been. 

To wonder, at least for a while, what it would have been like to have a son of his own. 

But Jack wasn’t. And even if he had been, Jack was free to grow up and make his own decisions. He’d been doing it for a long time now, without their interference or their guidance. 

“We… uh…” Bunny cleared his throat, motioning up at the strip of condoms Jack was holding. “We’re going to need more of those.” 

…. Phil always had been very good with anticipating what would be needed…

“-After we talk.” Bunny added, sounding much more like himself. 

Jack’s grin was practically incandescent as he looked at Bunny. “Warren?” 

“Warren.” Bunny agreed, a small hopeful smile on his face. Jack laughed and shifted, his large body condensing, forelegs disappearing until he only had two hooved legs again. Bunny tapped the ground with his foot, the floor opening up underneath them, sending them underground with a laugh and a shout. 

The floor sealed up behind them, leaving only a white aster where they’d been before. 

North found himself staring at the flower, going over all the times he’d witnessed Jack and Bunny interacting and belatedly realised Jack had been extremely unsubtle in his flirting and pursuit of Bunny. 

Perhaps this wasn’t as much of a surprise to everyone else. 

North took a deep breath and let it out as a heavy sigh.

Oh, dear. 

-fin-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack was being even more unsubtle than North realised, much like rabbits have scent glands under their chin, [deer have multiple scent glands on their head](http://www.outdoorlife.com/blogs/master-class/2013/10/deer-anatomy-lesson-how-buck-scent-glands-really-work). In chapter two, Jack was rubbing his face all over Bunny, scent-marking Bunny as 'Mine', something North didn't catch and Bunny didn't argue. 
> 
> Eventually I'll finish my Jack!taur sketches and post them, but otherwise that's for this AU from me. If anyone else wants to draw or play in this AU, feel free, lemme know and I'll link back.


End file.
